Deer and Horse | 鹿と馬1

English Romaji

A warped and wounded spring
Yugande kizu darake no haru
I walked without anything to numb the pain Masui mo utazu ni aruita
Echoing loudly in the depths of my body: Karada no okusoko de hibiku
The words, "this isn't living." Ikitarinai2 to, tsuyoku

I can still taste it, the gum I had finished chewing		 Mada ajiwau sa, kamioeta gamu no aji
It lingers in my unfrozen heart Samekirenai mama no kokoro de
Here, after I had lost everything bit by bit Hitotsu hitotsu nakushita hate ni
Finally, something remained Youyaku nokotta mono

I didn't know what to call this, if I couldn't call it "love"
Kore ga ai ja nakereba nan to yobu no ka boku ha shiranakatta
Call it out, that flower's name, just the one Yobe yo, hana no namae wo, tada hitotsu dake
Tearing out of your throat Harisakeru kurai ni
Our noses brush, our breath catches Hanasaki ga fureru, kokyuu ga tomaru
And I think I can live with this pain Itami ha kienai mama de ii

What do you say, with your tired eyes?
Tsukareta sono me de nani wo iu
I walked, hiding my scars Kizuato kakushite aruita
Despite that, I spread shadows around me Sono kuse kage wo baramaita
I wanted to be seen and understood Kidzuite hoshikatta3

Can you keep walking, through the taste of sand in your mouth?		 Mada arukeru ka, kamishimeta suna no aji
Here on this lawn, wet with evening dew Yotsuyu de nureta shibafu no ue
The question for my impatient heart is: Hayaru mune ni tazuneru kotoba
Isn't it too soon for this to end? Owaru ni ha mada hayai darou

I was never very good at smiling to keep others from feeling sad for me
Daremo kanashimanu you ni hohoemu koto ga umaku dekinakatta
One, just one is enough, just being able to protect it Hitotsu, tada hitotsu de ii, mamoreru dake de
That would have been enough Sore de yokatta no ni
This idiotic wish just won't disappear Amari ni kudaranai negai ga kienai
This soul that can't be taken by anyone Dare ni mo ubaenai tamashii

What could I even compare to you and I?
Nani ni tatoeyou, kimi to boku wo
Or to the identical wounds rubbed into two heels? Kakato ni nokoru nita kizu wo
Enough moments of peace tied together will carry us forward Harema wo yueba mada tsudzuku
Let's go, while the flowers haven't yet bloomed Ikou, hana mo sakanai uchi ni

I didn't know what to call this, if I couldn't call it "love"
Kore ga ai ja nakereba nan to yobu no ka boku ha shiranakatta
Call it out, that flower's name, even though you're afraid Yobe yo, osoreru mama ni, hana no namae wo
Say, "It can only be you" Kimi ja nakya dame da to
Our noses brush, our breath catches Hanasaki ga fureru, kokyuu ga tomaru
And I think I can live with this pain Itami ha kienai mama de ii

This idiotic wish just won't disappear
Amari ni kudaranai negai ga kienai
It won't end Yamanai

1 These two characters, when written as one word, form the kanji spelling of "baka" (馬鹿) - "idiot". They're in reverse order in this title.
2 This is a fabricated compound verb made up of 生きる "to live" and 足りる "to be sufficient".
3 This whole second verse could technically have the implied subject "you" based on the "sono me de" question in the first line (the MV's "official" English subs translate this as "my" eyes, but the "sono" suggests distance from the speaker, so this seems more like a poor translation than anything). However, the last line of the verse uses "-te hoshii", a statement of desire for someone else to do something. Confident statements about desires are rarely made about other people, and instead reflect the speaker's internal state. It would sound pretty arrogant for the speaker to say "I know for a fact that you wanted this from me", for example. With that in mind I've translated most of the verse using "I".